Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I don't know

Ok so I just need to vent lol! I have very very irritated lately and I kinda know why but I think it's more to it. I am maturing in ways I never thought I would. It's the little things that get at me so bad that I could just explode example if you ask me for something and I say no that should be the end of it. Yet you take it upon yourself and take that shit anyways I just feel disrespected like your trying to walk over me and disregarding what the fuck I'm saying I don't get it are you doing the shit on purpose or do you just not fucking get the clue? I don't know. At work I'm to the point that I find myself wondering what I'm going to do when I finally walk around away from that bullshit I have literally put my goals and ambitions on hold to support my household but now I wonder if that's the right decision why not follow my dreams and let everyone else suffer. I work the hardest bring home the income and yet I'm the one still unhappy.I wonder everyday is it worth it? On one side yes we have a vehicle, home, and can live comfortably but is it worth my sanity and happiness that's the question I can't answer. I complain everyday and I get super pissed everyday I have to get ready to go to a job I hate is it really worth it I don't know. I'm just at a point where I'm tired of dealing with petty shit and disrespectful people that are not fulfilling what I want and need in my life. Time is flying fast and I feel like I'm wasting time and energy on everything and everybody except what matters ME I just don't know. I feel like there maybe something better out there for me but will I be strong enough to leave everything behind me to find out I don't know. This thing called life is so real and I just don't know what to do I kinda wish I could be a kid when nothing mattered but doing homework and going to school everyday when shit was easy to comprehend. I just don't know


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